The Slowskys

In a world of high speed internet we here at STEM are subject to the higher powers that be, i.e. IT at Bethany. And for some reason for the few hours I'm actually in the office trying to work our internet service is S-L-O-W. We'd put the 'i' in leisurely. We're obviously closely related to the Slowskys. Anyway, this is an annoying hindrance to my work and my posting here. ok, I'm done griping!

Work is pretty cool even with internet issues and I am excited about this year's Mission Maker Magazine! It's our fourth year and each year just gets better and better. I've been busy getting ads and all that together so that our awesome design team can take over and give us some amazing, God-inspired art to go along with the amazing, God-inspired articles we have. So, that's been consuming my thoughts and time.

The other exciting new ministry I'm involved with is starting a MOPS group at our church this year. We are keeping it small this year as we get started but I'm excited for when we can expand and use it as an outreach and ministry tool. We, the leadership team, really want to use this year to invest in some godly women who we think will make great leaders and join our team in the years to come.

On a more personal note, I'm doing pretty well. I.G. calls every once in a while but a lot less often than he was, which I prefer. I'm not ready and don't really want to talk with him on a regular basis because he hasn't earned that right yet. We're starting from zero and he's gonna have to do a lot to earn any trust back. I'm not saying this out of a 'he'll pay' attitude but because I've been given much godly council and know that it's not my job to make us 'better'. It's I.G.'s job to seek out healing and the Lord and if he is able to do those things we'll go from there.

H and I are getting ready to go on a short, but much anticipated vacation to go and visit my best friend Angela for her 25th birthday. I have missed her so much since January and am soooooo excited to visit her. I'll be posting a lot of pictures! For now, H and I are getting lots of rest so that we'll be healthy for our visit.

God is so good to us and I am so thankful for His tender mercies and His lovingkindness toward me. Please continue to pray for us and that I'll listen to God's voice and leading.

blogger illiterate

Ok, so not until I started this blog did I realize how illiterate I am at posting. I am trying to figure out how to add videos and slide shows and all but to no avail...looks like I'll need help sometime soon. I was trying to post a slide show of H and our house so those of you who've never seen it could do so but alas, I am drowning in codes and html this or that! That and I also want to redesign the whole background but again find myself over my head. And yes, that's even with blogger help page stuff.

Anyway, figured I'd update the blog since I haven't out of frustration. H and I are finally doing better. I have a voice again, well at least one that doesn't sound like a man/frog. I am excitedly planning for our mini-vacation to go see Angela for her 25th birthday and can't wait to see her again. It's been far too long.

My busy season at work is soon to draw to a close but I don't sense it slowing down...we'll see. Hopefully I'll be able to accomplish all that needs to be done in a timely matter.

I.G. hasn't called in a while but he did say a little while back that he wanted to be a part of our family again although I'm not seeing any fruit of that statement. I think it was said out of emotion rather than really thinking through what he wants. He wants it to be a kiss and make up deal but he's 243 days late and a few thousand dollars too short. Anyway, we'll see what the Lord has in store over the next months/years. I still have some investigating to do and until then, we're only on business speaking terms period.

that's all for now!

Doula or Mid-Wife?

I just had the 2nd most amazing experience of my life! The first, of course, would be giving birth to H and the 2nd one is being asked to help coach Erin through her labor as none of her family members could make it because Brevin decided to come 3 weeks early!

Anyway, I've always had a lot of interest in the whole pregnancy, labor and delivery of a baby and have thought many times about going to school to be a doula or mid-wife and now I am even more convinced. Granted it may not be for a while because I'll have to wait for the Lord to tell me if/when would be a good time to go but, I also want to wait until H isn't a baby.

So here's a short version of my side of the story: Erin was a rock-star and did such an incredible job especially since she was having a lot of back labor. She had to do some exersizes to get Brevin to turn in the right position to deliver-face down instead of face up. And turn he did! I don't want to tell too much of her story so I'll just say that it was surreal for all of us-I think! She (we) probably walked a few miles before the contractions got so bad that walking wasn't an option. She had a great sense of humor through it all-yep, even through transition. I remember the nurse asking them once who they think Brevin will look like and Erin said, "I don't know/care as long as he doesn't have Bernt's nose." We all laughed. And sometime in the middle of transition she said very calmly, quietly and matter-of-fact, "Ouch." And then I laughed, yep Erin it is ouch! :)

I know that they will be posting pictures on their blog very soon so if you want to see them just click on the link Bernt & Erin on the side of my page and you'll see their updates. Although it may be a little while cuz their internet doesn't work all the time at home.

So, that's all for now, at least until I talk to Jenny about what her school is like and whether or not I should be getting ready to move outta the country...

Crazy Days!

Ok, so I am so excited because my friend and co-worker Erin is in labor and about to have their much anticipated little boy-Brevin Isaac!!! She's been having a lot of back pain aka contractions over the last week and when she came in this morning I was pretty sure she was going to have him by this weekend. Her and her husband are both at the hospital now and we are all praying for an easy and quick delivery for her. For those of you who know her, she's teeny tiny in stature and Brevin really had no chance of staying in there much longer! :)

Also, my cousin Becca headed to Mexico this morning to live, she is going to teach dance with a non-profit Christian (I think) organization and I am so excited for her. I love living over-seas/in other countries and I hope that she enjoys herself and that the Lord works in and through her this year etc. It was strange because I've always been the one leaving for some far off country and now I have 3 cousins out of the US and loving it (well, at least I hope they are!)

Yesterday, H and I spent all day getting ready for a garage sale that 2 other families and I, are holding over the next three days. Wow, let me tell you I never knew it took so much effort to get ready for a sale but there's a ton of stuff and we hope it all goes.

Finally & 6.5 Months of Silence...

I am finally able to post again thanks to Dena's expertise! My blog had extra html codes and "unauthorized something or other.." Anyway, she fixed it and now I am able to write again which makes me very happy! Although I'm at work and can't post all the fun pictures I wanted to I'll do so later!

Anyway...after 6 1/2 months of silence guess who calls me in the middle of the night on July 4th, Independence Day...more than one meaning behind that for me!?!? You guessed it...my almost "ex"-husband. There I was sleeping peacefully after a busy couple days and 2 hours into my sweet dreams the phone rings and the person on the other line answers..."it's me, Ib.....".

Anyway, very long story short...he hasn't changed much except for the fact that over the last 6.5 months he's grown a conscience and realizes that he was a "crazy, insane, awful jerk of a husband" (that's a direct quote) and he wants to send us money and he wants his green card-go figure...so, we'll see what happens (especially since he hasn't called when I told him how much $$ he owes me for his green card). but, for now I've got a lot of support and a pretty level head about the whole thing.

Before this I'd been avoiding everyone I guess...I don't think was intentional but I think that it has to do with being kind of depressed...so, anyway...the phone call was a good wake up and I realized that I can't put myself in a corner cuz it's just not healthy. Even though putting myself out there is really hard to do still...I probably imagine it but, I feel like I'm pitied or judged all the time and it's a very uncomfortable feeling. Oh well, can't turtle myself away especially since I want to show H what it's like to be a healthy person no matter the circumstances.

Slacking!

Ok, I've totally been slacking lately in posting on my blog...sorry to those of you who check this at times. Anyway, I've been waiting and waiting to give my sister her birthday present that I made her so that I can post pictures of my creativity but she's been super duper busy so I haven't seen her in over a week! Oh well. It was her 21st birthday, one that she's been looking forward to for quite a while! Anyway, as soon as I see her to give her her gift I'll post pictures.

Not too much else going on...keeping busy with my little girl who climbs on, into and over everything these days. She'll be 8 months on Friday, hard to believe but yes it's true and she just gets cuter and cuter every day. I painted her toenails the other day too! Quite a feat I might add, I dare any of you to get your baby to hold still long enough to paint them and dry them before it smears everywhere. But, we managed and her little toes are soooooo stinkin' cute!

I'm also looking for some really good books to read. Anyone have any suggestions? Maybe I'll start a "post-office library", if any of you have read a really good book and want to give me any recommendations that would be great! I like just about any genre.

Ok, well I gotta go, my little girlie is upset! I'll post again soon.

The rest of my life...!??!*$%&^!(#)^E#%!?= Confused and is not to be confused with a swear word

Wow, well I don't know what it is lately but I've been asked 'what I'm going to do with the rest of my life' almost as much as I was when I graduated from high school and college!!!! NOT that it's a bad question it's just so...loaded/heavy?!?...not really sure of the right word to use, only that it's a pretty big question for me right now. And I'm not sure what it is about me that people keep asking...is it the fact that I'll soon be divorced after a few short months of a really rocky marriage; is it that I'm a mommy; is it the season; is it just me...do I look lost/unsure/unstable?

Don't get me wrong I'm not at all offended by the question but I'm really just not sure why I'm getting asked. Not only that...I'd love to have an answer. See, there are a million things I would love to do but just don't know where to start and there's the simple fact that I have a wonderful, beautiful, very engaging 7.5 month old daughter to take care of and can't just run off to grad school or another country on a whim. Not to mention that if I did my mom, sister and dad would all want to kill me because they'd never see H...

So, I've already been wrestling with the question anyway...maybe it's written on my forehead...because I don't necessarily want to work in advertising all my life. I do know that, for now, this is where the Lord has placed me and I am most happy to be here and serve Him where I am. But there's a part of me that's longing to be something so much more than I am right now...does this make sense? I feel like there's so much more of me to give and that I'm a bit stifled by my surroundings. I also believe that there's a whole part of me that wants to fly but is just a little scared to run and step off the edge of the precipice to see if my wings really work. I'm also afraid of failure, what if I'm not good enough, what if ____ doesn't work out, what if someone else's ___ is/looks better than mine...so, there you go. This is part of the reason why I am standing at the end of who I am and the beginning of who I want to/can be.

That about sums it up for you...the rest of my life. Perhaps someday soon I'll just take that leap of faith and hopefully by then my wings will be ready for me to soar. So Lord, here I am again...please help me cuz I can't do it on my own. Maybe You can even push me but, if You do push me please help me to take care of H too. Thanks God. Amen.

Bring your child to work day?

I'm playing "bring your baby to work day" today! And now that H is up and about and into EVERYTHING it's proving to be an interesting day....I'm hoping that my sitter will answer her phone soon! Good thing H likes paper and magazines and all cuz I didn't bring any toys with me either, knowing that there are plenty of toys at the sitter's house.

Anyway, we had an awesome time yesterday with my friend Barb and her two little boys. We went to the pool and splashed around and just had a good time together. Other than that, nothing new! I'll post pictures again soon.