Picture Update

Here are the pictures I've been meaning to post for so long! Funny note: Haddie was happily playing with Christmas Bear and her Leap Frog toy so I thought to myself, "This would be a good time to update the blog", but as soon as she saw the computer she speed crawled her way over here and wouldn't let me rest until we took some pictures of her/us. So here those are:

Picture time is over and she's not happy!



Here are the wine glasses I painted for my sister for her 21st birthday:





Here's Haddie feeding herself for the first time! I gave her the bowl and a spoon then turned around to wash some dishes and when I looked at her next this is what I saw, I laughed for forever!


And here I am with Erin and Brevin Isaac, Bernt & Erin's beautiful baby boy!




Ok, I think that's all for now!

Doula or Mid-Wife?

I just had the 2nd most amazing experience of my life! The first, of course, would be giving birth to H and the 2nd one is being asked to help coach Erin through her labor as none of her family members could make it because Brevin decided to come 3 weeks early!

Anyway, I've always had a lot of interest in the whole pregnancy, labor and delivery of a baby and have thought many times about going to school to be a doula or mid-wife and now I am even more convinced. Granted it may not be for a while because I'll have to wait for the Lord to tell me if/when would be a good time to go but, I also want to wait until H isn't a baby.

So here's a short version of my side of the story: Erin was a rock-star and did such an incredible job especially since she was having a lot of back labor. She had to do some exersizes to get Brevin to turn in the right position to deliver-face down instead of face up. And turn he did! I don't want to tell too much of her story so I'll just say that it was surreal for all of us-I think! She (we) probably walked a few miles before the contractions got so bad that walking wasn't an option. She had a great sense of humor through it all-yep, even through transition. I remember the nurse asking them once who they think Brevin will look like and Erin said, "I don't know/care as long as he doesn't have Bernt's nose." We all laughed. And sometime in the middle of transition she said very calmly, quietly and matter-of-fact, "Ouch." And then I laughed, yep Erin it is ouch! :)

I know that they will be posting pictures on their blog very soon so if you want to see them just click on the link Bernt & Erin on the side of my page and you'll see their updates. Although it may be a little while cuz their internet doesn't work all the time at home.

So, that's all for now, at least until I talk to Jenny about what her school is like and whether or not I should be getting ready to move outta the country...

Crazy Days!

Ok, so I am so excited because my friend and co-worker Erin is in labor and about to have their much anticipated little boy-Brevin Isaac!!! She's been having a lot of back pain aka contractions over the last week and when she came in this morning I was pretty sure she was going to have him by this weekend. Her and her husband are both at the hospital now and we are all praying for an easy and quick delivery for her. For those of you who know her, she's teeny tiny in stature and Brevin really had no chance of staying in there much longer! :)

Also, my cousin Becca headed to Mexico this morning to live, she is going to teach dance with a non-profit Christian (I think) organization and I am so excited for her. I love living over-seas/in other countries and I hope that she enjoys herself and that the Lord works in and through her this year etc. It was strange because I've always been the one leaving for some far off country and now I have 3 cousins out of the US and loving it (well, at least I hope they are!)

Yesterday, H and I spent all day getting ready for a garage sale that 2 other families and I, are holding over the next three days. Wow, let me tell you I never knew it took so much effort to get ready for a sale but there's a ton of stuff and we hope it all goes.

Finally & 6.5 Months of Silence...

I am finally able to post again thanks to Dena's expertise! My blog had extra html codes and "unauthorized something or other.." Anyway, she fixed it and now I am able to write again which makes me very happy! Although I'm at work and can't post all the fun pictures I wanted to I'll do so later!

Anyway...after 6 1/2 months of silence guess who calls me in the middle of the night on July 4th, Independence Day...more than one meaning behind that for me!?!? You guessed it...my almost "ex"-husband. There I was sleeping peacefully after a busy couple days and 2 hours into my sweet dreams the phone rings and the person on the other line answers..."it's me, Ib.....".

Anyway, very long story short...he hasn't changed much except for the fact that over the last 6.5 months he's grown a conscience and realizes that he was a "crazy, insane, awful jerk of a husband" (that's a direct quote) and he wants to send us money and he wants his green card-go figure...so, we'll see what happens (especially since he hasn't called when I told him how much $$ he owes me for his green card). but, for now I've got a lot of support and a pretty level head about the whole thing.

Before this I'd been avoiding everyone I guess...I don't think was intentional but I think that it has to do with being kind of depressed...so, anyway...the phone call was a good wake up and I realized that I can't put myself in a corner cuz it's just not healthy. Even though putting myself out there is really hard to do still...I probably imagine it but, I feel like I'm pitied or judged all the time and it's a very uncomfortable feeling. Oh well, can't turtle myself away especially since I want to show H what it's like to be a healthy person no matter the circumstances.

Psalm 103

Bless the Lord o my soul, and all that is within me bless His holy name...He redeems my life from destruction. He pours out His lovingkindness and tender mercies upon me...(paraphrased by me)

Anyway, I read that last night and am encouraged and uplifted by my Maker. Even when I feel alone He said that He would never leave me nor forsake me. So, perhaps I'm in this desperate place to bring me to my knees before him...again.

Geez, you'd think a girl would learn. But thanks God for reminding me that pumpkins and field mice aren't always that bad and though I don't believe in fairy god-mothers I do believe in YOU. And YOU make ALL things GOOD.



Heck, sometimes we all need a healthy dose of squash and...well, I don't know what field mice are good for but that's not important!

My prayer today...

So I get these daily emails from Divorce Care that are very encouraging and oftentimes nail my emotions on the head. This happens on a pretty regular basis, I don't know how they do it when I don't call them and tell them how I'm feeling on a regular basis but, they get it right 9 out of 10 times!

Anyway, I'm feeling very vulnerable and emotional lately because of so many things, #1)being A-L-O-N-E. It's not a very fun place to be and I am still, and may forever be, trying to figure out where I fit now that my fairy tale turned out to just be a large pumpkin and some field mice...

Anyway, I opened my inbox today to find this as today's daily encouragement: "Rob began to question God at that point, asking, "Where is the love? My heart still feels empty inside." He realized that God wanted him to understand that he was trying to fill his heart with something that could not truly satisfy his needs. Rob [ARIKA] desired to be loved, accepted, and celebrated just the way [s]he was, imperfections and all. He realized that Jesus Christ is the only Person who could love him to that deep degree, the only One who could love him unconditionally. "Mortals make elaborate plans, but GOD has the last word. Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good; GOD probes for what is good. Put GOD in charge of your work, then what you've planned will take place" (Proverbs 16:1-3 Msg). Lord Jesus, You have loved me with an everlasting love. I give all my hopes and plans, faults and imperfections to You. Amen."

So, when I lost my life companion I was upset and then seemed to get over it but I find today that the emotions are just as raw as they were in December. Possibly rubbed raw by new problems and hurts but all the same they're still bleeding. I've found that now that I've lost someone that was supposed to stay forever it's hard to find where I belong again.

I don't belong here...

I got my first hug today since January and I literally fell to pieces. Yep, I'm just sad. So, here I am again God...please help me and take away this sadness...