Monday, October 15, 2007

drowning

Between all the issues with Mission Maker and planning H's first birthday party(ies) and my dad going out of town for business again I am overwhelmed. I have had so many responsibilities dumped on me during the last month that I feel as though I'm drowning and I may not be able to keep my head above water much longer. I ask for help yet I don't think I'm being heard...

I know I'm losing it when I start to get impatient or frustrated at home. I have one of the most easy going babies I've ever met and find myself losing patience with her when she wants some extra attention...bad mommy...which of course then I have myself a good ol' guilt trip and remember that I'm not stressed by her but by my work and then that starts this endless cycle of do I stay or do I go?!?!? If I stay, how do I make this manageable? Can someone else take on some of this responsibility? I've said so many times that I don't know what the heck I am doing and would prefer not to do____ but, then just a short while later...there I am doing the things I said I'd prefer not to do. Maybe I need to read the Boundaries book again. I've never really needed to learn how to say no but I think I might need to now.

Ok, so this is more just a frustrated bit of complaining but if you think of it/me please pray for me that God would give me wisdom as to what I should do!

1 comments:

The Wittz said...

Arika I am so glad that you feel refreshed once again. I for sure have my days where I am frustrated with being a mom bc I am overwhelmed by the overflowing laundry, having to make dinner but making sure it is baby friendly and on top of everything it is late afternoon and I am still in my pj's from the night before. I hope you can set a few hours for yourself in the near future after all the party's are done. Get a long pedicure or even just get a blanket under a tree in a park and read a few chapters of a good book. You deserve a day of pampering!!! I will always remember the amazing birthday you planned for Erin you put so much effort and time into that Amazing race ordeal so I can only imagine what you are doing for your little girl. I love you!