PS31

I'm obviously not talking about the newest version of Play Station but rather the Proverbs 31 woman.

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Does anyone else feel like they take two steps forward and one step backwards? I wish that transformation had taken place the moment I gave my life to Christ but [sigh], it did not and so just like everyone else I must go through the journey.

I do hope that someday I will be a woman of noble character, clothed with strength and dignity, speaking with wisdom and faithful instruction. I do know that it's not by my own strength but by the Lord's and that all of the following comes through/by fear of the Lord.

I don't like how my flesh/the old me rises up in some circumstances and reacts. It's ugly and unbecoming and unlovely. Lord, please change me and make me into the woman you want me to be. I want to live my life for You and I also want H to see You in me and want to be just like that. I want her to, one day, rise up and call me blessed not for my own glory but Yours Lord.