1,000 Christmas Cookies and other wonderful things

Crazy, but true...I have made over 1,000 Christmas cookies this year (and have given 95% of them away. Thank goodness not everyone likes/has time to bake, but everyone enjoys eating). It's been so much fun to get together with girlfriends, cousins and our kids to bake cookies, listen to Christmas music and watch our favorite Christmas movies. I've enjoyed hosting so much and I love that H has playmates when you're all around!

I usually hate winter, but that's when it's just cold, cold, cold without snow. This year, we've had snow, snow, snow and it makes the cold so much more bearable. We've done so many fun things already, like: cookie baking (mentioned above), parties galore, exchanging gifts, eating way too much food, enjoying the occasional glass of eggnog (yes, H likes it too!), getting together with family, watching our favorite movies, looking at the lights, decorating our house, wrapping gifts, snuggling and teaching H about baby Jesus.

What can possibly be more fun than celebrating, especially when you have little kids who take such delight in all the little things!? I feel as though I'm a kid again, looking at everything through her eyes and doing what I can to establish 'our family traditions'. I won't lie it has been hard emotionally, but God is good and He's taking such good care of us. This December has held a few ups and downs for me, but definitely more ups than downs. It's just hard remembering that it was only a year ago and I.G. was still around and I hadn't a clue what was to come, yet at the same time I don't think I've ever enjoyed this season so much. Mostly due to the fact that I get the privilege of teaching H the real reason behind the celebration.

Anyway, hope you all are having just as wonderful a Christmas season and hope you have a very Merry Christmas!

Happy Birthday Jesus!

Pictures, pictures, pictures

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So, I've been meaning to post these pictures for a while...obviously...halloween costume pictures and all.

Anyway, the other day I emptied out one of my purses and changed it out for one of my older ones and H decided to carry around the empty one all day long, pretending to go 'bye-bye' it was sooooo cute. So yeah, some pictures are from our cookie baking day and others are just random.

4:30 A.M.

For some strange reason I woke up at 4:30 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep so I decided today would be a great day to have my quiet time (before work), eat breakfast and get everything ready to go so that we could get out the door on time.

Ha! What a joke! I don't know what happened...I ate breakfast (couldn't concentrate on reading while listening to my stomach growl very loudly), then I had my quiet time (in the morning, this is a first in ages...usually it happens at night after H is in bed), got everything ready to go and we STILL left late!?!? I really don't know how that happened! Seriously, I was up 2 1/2 HOURS before we had to leave.

Not only that but as we're getting in the car, I put my coffee mug on the roof (I know what you're thinking..."never do that") and am buckling H into her seat and my mom calls. She's talking about the weather and if she'll be coming to my Tupperware party tonight and I start driving and talking until...to my dismay I hear a thump, thump on the roof....Oh NO! my coffee!!! In my favorite travel mug!!! So I tell my mom I'll call her back and I start carefully slowing down to stop at the light when the mug soars off the roof of my car and careens into another vehicle, thankfully stopping right there and not rolling into moving traffic. So I slam the car into park and run out of my car, holding my hand out so people won't start going (by this time the light has turned green) and run to my mug, now devoid of all coffee and run back to my car, jump in and start driving. I know, not safe, smart etc etc but I couldn't just leave it there, it was expensive and it really is a great mug, the coffee never spills/leaks even when shaken upside down unless you let it fly off the roof of your car. So I rescued my now, road tested mug and we were on our way.

However, despite the weird, disjointed morning we didn't arrive late I think it's because the roads were really clear even after all the snow we've had.

Wow, what a morning. I know that rising early is a godly thing and all but really, sometimes a mommy just needs her rest and it's not always for beauty, more like sanity!

check it out

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1147803231

But God...

Every year our family does a Christmas letter that goes out to everyone, extended family, friends etc. So, each of the family units are asked to write something up that summarizes their year. Well, last year, I announced the birth of my baby girl and what my husband and I were up to...so what do you say when your husband leaves? Anyway, after much prayer and consideration I sat down determined to write, but not just write. Write to glorify God, which has been my goal/heart's desire since this whole crazy ride began.

What did I write? Glad you asked...

"Hmmmm, what to say? I think two words can sum up our last year for us, “But God”. Life has taken a dramatic turn for H and me since last year. Two days after Christmas ‘06 my husband of 11 months walked out on us. I had no idea where he had gone and why, only that he cut us out of his life without a second thought. His departure was devastating in more ways than one. All of a sudden, I was a single mom and now had to figure a way out of this mess we were in without a clue where to start.

But God. Provided. Healed. Loved. Led. Walked with us. Protected. Blessed. Taught. Rebuilt. Humbled. Strengthened. And so much more over and over again.

I am in the process of filing for divorce and will hopefully be finished with it all soon. I know that whatever the Lord has in store for us next will be good. Hard but good. H and I live in a beautiful home with my dad and I still work at STEM Int’l with Mission Maker Magazine. H is gorgeous and growing like a weed. We are blessed. And even though I forget to say it a lot of the time it’s only by God’s grace. Blessed be His name this Christmas season and throughout this next year."

As I sit here and reread I can think of so many more "but Gods" that I didn't list but praise God for it all.

Chances are...

if your saltines, or whatever kind of food you are planning on eating, smell funky they most likely taste funky too. But of course, there are always some of us who'll try em anyway!?!? Unfortunately funky saltines leave a funky aftertaste in your mouth that just doesn't go away...

Thank you God for Dairy Queen, this is where I rushed a few minutes after spitting my funky saltines in the garbage and trying to rid myself of the awful taste with coffee, soup, licking my sweater (aka wiping off my tongue)

Now, I wouldn't usually run to the DQ to be rescued but I'd been contemplating a pumpkin blizzard for a long while now and figured I may as well get one before the 'season' ends.

Mmmmm, sweet relief!

too long

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It's been too long since I've been on here but I did want to post this....just taken yesterday.

Celebration photos

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ONE!

As crazy as I think it is, it's already (almost) been 1 year since H was born!!! I am so excited to celebrate with everyone tomorrow.

As happy as I am about the whole thing, I'm a bit sad too that she's growing up so fast. I can't believe that it's been that long since I was sitting at home angry that I was already 5 days overdue!!!

Anyway, my mom helped me change H's car seat to face forward yesterday and H was tickled pink the whole ride home! (my mom had to sit in the seat so that I could get it to buckle tightly enough). It's so good but hard too to get to each new stage. I mourn and miss the last one but am always thrilled to explore the new one! Such is life. :)

My picture lovin' girlie

Hugging the computer that's taking her picture...such a ham!

More hugs for the camera computer...all the while saying, "aaaaawwww" just like she does with Chris Bear. :)

Giggles

Laughing at mommy!

Ginormous smiles!

I'm so in love!!!!

all deleted for our safety

refocussed and encouraged

I received these words of encouragement this morning:

"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. they WILL mount up on wings as eagles...they will run and not grow weary and they will walk and not grow faint. His yoke is easy and His burden is light... Come unto me, all who are weak, weary, and heavy laden. Gentle am I, and humble at heart and I will give rest to your soul.
He deals with you with compassion and understanding. He isn't just a Savior unto death but also in life. I am praying for you Arika. He is with you. He hears your cries and says to you: You are not alone.
May the Lord give you great rest and peace tonight. I know He is close to you....."

And remembered that (after smacking myself) He IS Good and He will take care of me. I just have to run to Him and keep my eyes/focus on Him rather than the things around me that are too overwhelming to do on my own.

Thanks L for the reminder and encouragement, it was a great way to start my day today!

And p.s. everything is slowly working itself out and H is a joy to me and now I remember that I can remind myself to leave my work at work instead of stressing at home. :) Thanks again God!

p.s.s. one of my favorite things to do is plan parties and organize so yeah...not sure why that was a problem yesterday...just a random meltdown...

drowning

Between all the issues with Mission Maker and planning H's first birthday party(ies) and my dad going out of town for business again I am overwhelmed. I have had so many responsibilities dumped on me during the last month that I feel as though I'm drowning and I may not be able to keep my head above water much longer. I ask for help yet I don't think I'm being heard...

I know I'm losing it when I start to get impatient or frustrated at home. I have one of the most easy going babies I've ever met and find myself losing patience with her when she wants some extra attention...bad mommy...which of course then I have myself a good ol' guilt trip and remember that I'm not stressed by her but by my work and then that starts this endless cycle of do I stay or do I go?!?!? If I stay, how do I make this manageable? Can someone else take on some of this responsibility? I've said so many times that I don't know what the heck I am doing and would prefer not to do____ but, then just a short while later...there I am doing the things I said I'd prefer not to do. Maybe I need to read the Boundaries book again. I've never really needed to learn how to say no but I think I might need to now.

Ok, so this is more just a frustrated bit of complaining but if you think of it/me please pray for me that God would give me wisdom as to what I should do!

Mom Jeans

I think the title says enough, check out this video!

http://msnomer.wordpress.com/2007/10/09/tuesday-funny/

sardines

To my utmost delight I discovered 2 days ago that H happens to love sardines just as much as I do!

It's definitely a family thing, possible passed on from mother to daughter?

This will inevitably lead to many smelly afternoons filled with yummy goodness for us!

ramblings

My insides want to be on my outside. Not literally, but my heart just wants to bust outta here. I have the most intense desire to see God glorified through all the pain and struggle I've been through. I want to be used because I know He heals and will restore what the locusts have eaten away. I know and still hurt every time I hear another story. Is it the mamma in me or what, because all I want to do is take those hurts from every one else so that they can melt in Your arms Jesus.
I need more of you Jesus.

This season's Top Chef winner is....

Yes, it's true, amid fierce competition from Hung, Dale, and Casey, H has taken this season's title of Top Chef!

Some quotes from her competitors: Hung said, "As hard as I tried I just couldn't match her skills and technique in the kitchen"; Dale was heard saying, "Her knife skills are amazing and her palate has to be the best in the world!"; and last but not least Casey was heard crying, "I can't believe I lost to a 10 month old! She's a genius."

H is quoted saying, "Hi", and "more please" but the exclusive interview will have to wait...at least until after she cooks some dinner for her mommy. :)

Hi, my name is

I guess it's time to call a lawyer, I'm still reluctant mostly because of my own pride. I hate that now I'll be Arika S..., 27 years old and divorced. People will say to others on the phone, "You know Arika, she's 27, she has a little girl and she's divorced..." I feel like it might be posted on my forehead or on a sticky name tag, "Hi, My name is Arika. I'm divorced." Like I said, pride.

It's strange because at the beginning, when we first met, I didn't think that anyone could be better suited for me. He knew how to make me laugh, and smile and also how to confront me out of love so that I would grow. Then we got married and he was exactly the opposite. He knew how to make me cry, and hurt and said ugly things that one day I'll hopefully forget. Instead of loving me the way I was meant to be loved he killed me more and more each day. I never knew what depression was like until we were married and I never felt like I would be happy again.

When we talked on Friday, I asked him about reconciliation and he said he didn't think it would work because 'he knows himself and he isn't sure if he could be faithful and most of all he didn't want to hurt me again'. Well, it still hurt and when I said that he would be living in sin he said he doesn't know if he believes that anymore. I'm sad, for me, for him. I'm sad that he is choosing to be selfish and won't-not can't- he won't control his desires and lusts and is choosing to walk away from the Lord.

It seems so cut and dry to everyone else. He won't be faithful so just chop him off like he's excess baggage. It's not so easy, it's more like major surgery than it is a hacking process. I'm scared, once I go under will I wake up again? Will the surgeon do a good job or will he hack out an extra organ in the process? Will I lose a part of me that cannot be recovered or will I walk away from the surgery unburdened and light hearted?

Well, I know that God is my great physician and with the surgery in His hands I know it can't go wrong unless I insist on taking the scalpel from Him and try to do it myself. So, God, I think I'm ready...still scared but ready so if you can count with me, backwards from 100. Here I go, 100...99...98...97...

Death-Warmed-Over-Mommy

My fever broke sometime yesterday morning and I'm finally feeling human again instead of like death warmed over. Thankfully H is fine and hasn't come down with any symptoms of the bug.

Death-Warmed-Over-Mommy is not very fun though, she can't play with H or hold her too much. She can't carry her everywhere because her whole body feels like it'll fall apart. And worst of all DWOM can't cuddle and kiss her baby for days and days! This is why I'm so happy to not be sick anymore.

I used to handle being sick so much better when I didn't have a baby to care for. Then you just crawl into bed and don't get up for days/until you feel better. Now, I still have to get up at 7 am and feed and try to play and love on H so she doesn't 'wonder' what's wrong with her mommy.

Talk about bad timing too, tons of my friends from my graduating class at BCOM were in town for the weekend and I wanted to stay up late and all that fun stuff but chose to miss out instead of contaminating everyone else and getting worse myself. Ok, so now I'm done having a pity party.

Last weekend was so fun though in spite of being ill. It was great to catch up with old friends and see what was new and hear about what is to come-Lord willing. I was encouraged by what the Lord is doing in each of their lives and to see how He is changing us to be more and more like Him. Granted we all struggle but it is so incredible to see His refinement in everyone. It's also so fun to see the different stages of life we go through, mostly referring to parenting as so many of us have children of our own now.

All this to say, I'm well again and blessed by the weekend...well, the friends that were part of my weekend! We love all of you!

Our visit with Angela

Here are some pictures of our time with Angela. We had so much fun and were so blessed to be able to spend some quality time (my first love language) with her, as well as meet everyone she's been talking about for the past year!

Exploring Angela's room and new toys mom brought

Opening presents from Ang

The red tent-like thing in the background is called a PeaPod** and it's the best thing since sliced bread for traveling parents.

Eating presents from Ang

Ang and H

Of course, being in the south I had to dress her in her Southern Belle outfit! Poor girlie...:)


At The Marble Slab for ice cream the night before heading home

Chris, Angela and me...being weirdos


Anyway, we're sad that she's so far away but excited to see her in Florida at Christmas time! Woo-hoo!

**Notes on the PeaPod: H sleeps well wherever we go but, I can't put her on a blanket on the ground anymore because she'll explore and get into things she's not supposed to instead of sleeping. So, I did some research and found a baby tent, it's confines her while being super comfy, it comes with a blow up air mattress and everything and folds up small enough to fit in a back pack, weighing a mere 2 lbs!!! Anyway, if you travel extensively with mobile babies I definitely recommend the product.

Fall

Autumn, Fall
The most wonderful season of all
Crisp air, bright trees
I'm so easy to please

Orange, red so much color
the season I became a mother
Pumpkin muffins and bread
with cream cheese spread

Layers and sweaters
nothing's better
I love, love fall
or I wouldn't have written this dorky poem at all! :)

Reunion!

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word reunion?

Friends, of course but, food is a fast second! :)

Well the original class of 2005 is having a mini reunion this weekend and I am so excited. Jenny, Heather and I got together last night to plan this weekends events. And of course, one of the biggest topics was F O O D. I think we have some of the best "chefs" in our class and we are going to take full advantage of that fact. So, if the pictures below don't make your mouth water enough to come and join us I don't know what will...











Anyway, if you're in the area please be sure to let us know and join in the fun!

If you need the details, please let me know and I'd be happy to get the info to you.

A la maison

We had a wonderful time visiting Angela once we finally arrived...very long story made short- 2 hour and 20 minute flight turned into 6 hours on the plane = miss the flight to SC and stay the night in the Hilton eating a kid's meal of grilled cheese and fries for $20.

Anyway, once we finally got to SC we had a good time. I don't know how my friends with children did it while at BCOM (except that they had 2 rooms) but it is HARD to live/stay in a dorm with a baby! Extra props to the Dugans, Johnsons and others that finished school while living in such cramped quarters.

Angela had a great room and even her own bathroom so that was wonderful, and she even learned a little about baby-proofing for the future! *wink* H is very curious, as most babies are, and so we had to block things off and hide other things and basically make every day living a little more difficult than usual for Ang. Thanks for hosting us on your birthday weekend, I hope and am sure that you enjoyed having us as much as we enjoyed being with you!

Since being home H has been re-exploring her home and even when I'm on the phone she doesn't seem to care...very unusual for anyone with small children. So we're having good times and we're also heading out again for two days this weekend to be with family so hopefully that'll be relaxing.

I always forget how much I love my bed when planning a trip and so it's been nice to get back into our daily groove. I'll post pictures in the next couple days or so!

Her Chris Bear

I love the joy that my daughter finds in such repetitive things like her LeapFrog toy. She has taken to pushing the button and looking to me for my reaction to her giddiness. If I laugh, she heartily fake laughs along with me often ending in a squeal! And then does it again, and again and again. She also loves racing up the stairs with me following and squeals the whole way up. She doesn't tire from these 'fun' activities instead she relishes them with every fiber of her little being.

It's so fun to watch her and find out what she thinks is funny and what makes her laugh. I never knew such joy till she was a part of my life. I thought I had fun but I've not had as much fun as she has with her silly little toys. Her new thing this week is dancing to the music, she leans on her toy and stamps her chubby little legs with everything in her. I nearly died laughing when she first did this which of course made her do it over and over again!

Another cute thing, sorry, I can't help but write about her, she's too fun...I'll say, "Aaaawwwww" and she'll speed crawl over to Chris Bear and give him a full on body hug. See pics below!


Here's H with her Chris Bear (short for Christmas Bear)





Well, I've been on here far too long so...'till next time!

Natural? Disaster

With all the natural disasters happening in the past few years I've just now noticed the correlation between them and what happens with divorce. Disasters take without thinking of the hurt and devastation they leave behind. They don't think of the people and places they consume they just rip up those places and toss them around without a care for the love or memories a particular place holds for the ones that built it there. Disasters don't think. After a hurricane, earthquake, tsunami and even a terrorist attack there is a mad rush to rescue all those that can be rescued. Once that is accomplished there is the recovery stage, accounting for all who were killed and property lost. Finally, we rebuild. We start from ground zero and build again. We build better and stronger and smarter this time.



Divorce or the unexpected disappearance of a spouse is like this too. You've counted on them to be there and to love you through the good and bad and then one day they're gone, emotionally and/or physically.

I call mine Hurricane Ib....... He was a hurricane of incredible force, I would rate him at a 5 at least. He left in such a way that I never expected to hear from him again. He left us without provision for housing, food, care etc. During that time family and friends came to our aid and rescued us from the destruction he left in his wake. Since then, I've been recovering. Recovering the things that he killed in me and dreams and hopes that I had. I'm still in this process and since I'm here I can say that dreams and hopes are some of the hardest things to look at once they've been tainted and destroyed by reality.

I look ahead at days to come and look forward to when I can rebuild because I will rebuild and this time it will be better and stronger and smarter. Even though he has asked to come back I don't see it happening. I don't think that anyone in their right mind would say yes to such a thing. Yet, I've been forced to at least consider it. Yes, I know that a marriage can 'work' after infidelity but it wasn't just that, it was soooooo much more. Not only that, but I don't want a marriage to 'work'. I want to be cherished. I want to be taken care of and to be seen the way God sees me, my value is far above rubies or diamonds or any other earthly treasure one could possess. Most of all, I want to do what the Lord wants me to, I'm just not sure what that is right now...

The Slowskys

In a world of high speed internet we here at STEM are subject to the higher powers that be, i.e. IT at Bethany. And for some reason for the few hours I'm actually in the office trying to work our internet service is S-L-O-W. We'd put the 'i' in leisurely. We're obviously closely related to the Slowskys. Anyway, this is an annoying hindrance to my work and my posting here. ok, I'm done griping!

Work is pretty cool even with internet issues and I am excited about this year's Mission Maker Magazine! It's our fourth year and each year just gets better and better. I've been busy getting ads and all that together so that our awesome design team can take over and give us some amazing, God-inspired art to go along with the amazing, God-inspired articles we have. So, that's been consuming my thoughts and time.

The other exciting new ministry I'm involved with is starting a MOPS group at our church this year. We are keeping it small this year as we get started but I'm excited for when we can expand and use it as an outreach and ministry tool. We, the leadership team, really want to use this year to invest in some godly women who we think will make great leaders and join our team in the years to come.

On a more personal note, I'm doing pretty well. I.G. calls every once in a while but a lot less often than he was, which I prefer. I'm not ready and don't really want to talk with him on a regular basis because he hasn't earned that right yet. We're starting from zero and he's gonna have to do a lot to earn any trust back. I'm not saying this out of a 'he'll pay' attitude but because I've been given much godly council and know that it's not my job to make us 'better'. It's I.G.'s job to seek out healing and the Lord and if he is able to do those things we'll go from there.

H and I are getting ready to go on a short, but much anticipated vacation to go and visit my best friend Angela for her 25th birthday. I have missed her so much since January and am soooooo excited to visit her. I'll be posting a lot of pictures! For now, H and I are getting lots of rest so that we'll be healthy for our visit.

God is so good to us and I am so thankful for His tender mercies and His lovingkindness toward me. Please continue to pray for us and that I'll listen to God's voice and leading.

blogger illiterate

Ok, so not until I started this blog did I realize how illiterate I am at posting. I am trying to figure out how to add videos and slide shows and all but to no avail...looks like I'll need help sometime soon. I was trying to post a slide show of H and our house so those of you who've never seen it could do so but alas, I am drowning in codes and html this or that! That and I also want to redesign the whole background but again find myself over my head. And yes, that's even with blogger help page stuff.

Anyway, figured I'd update the blog since I haven't out of frustration. H and I are finally doing better. I have a voice again, well at least one that doesn't sound like a man/frog. I am excitedly planning for our mini-vacation to go see Angela for her 25th birthday and can't wait to see her again. It's been far too long.

My busy season at work is soon to draw to a close but I don't sense it slowing down...we'll see. Hopefully I'll be able to accomplish all that needs to be done in a timely matter.

I.G. hasn't called in a while but he did say a little while back that he wanted to be a part of our family again although I'm not seeing any fruit of that statement. I think it was said out of emotion rather than really thinking through what he wants. He wants it to be a kiss and make up deal but he's 243 days late and a few thousand dollars too short. Anyway, we'll see what the Lord has in store over the next months/years. I still have some investigating to do and until then, we're only on business speaking terms period.

that's all for now!

Wise as a Serpent

wise as serpents and harmless as doves” (Matthew 10:16, KJV)

I am trying to be just that-wise as a serpent, and I'm asking the Lord for His wisdom so that I don't try to do things on my own. I've spent a lot of time praying as I'm driving and walking and cooking etc that I would treat I.G. with forgiveness and that I would walk in that (being harmless as a dove). Basically what I'm trying to say is that without being gullable and a doormat I am trying to treat him the way Jesus would and walk out/live out the forgiveness I've already given in my heart. I don't want revenge and I don't hold any hate or animosity in my heart towards him but, at the same time, I am definitely in momma tiger mode so I'm in the offensive mode when it comes to H's and my safety.

I.G. is asking for his green card so that he can get a 'real job' and send us some money to take care of his daughter. He is respecting my wishes, so far, that he stay away for a while and just prove himself to be a human being at the least. When the time comes that he is asked to visit it will be after a lot of prayer, counsel and support of family and friends and-don't worry- it won't be alone.

I was talking with my best friend the other day and mentioned that even though I don't know what the Lord is doing or is going to do, I have hope. Not in I.G. or the restoration of my marriage but in the Lord. I know that the Lord is faithful and will take care of H and me. I also know that He will use this for His glory and I hope in HIM! I realize too that if He is going to restore my marriage it will be a long and hard process and if He's not it'll still be a long and hard process but I'm encouraged. I know that HE knows what He is doing, thank goodness, and whatever it is I am growing in Him. I don't know if this was the Lord's way of bringing me to my knees and reminding me that I need Him but, it has and I do!

I have also been reading and meditating on the scriptures in Lamentations and love how I am reminded over and over that the Lord sees and will judge my oppressors and He is just and what I.G. did to us was not/is not right and the Lord has got my back. He's seen each tear and heard each cry of my heart and knows what is best for H and me. He will judge rightly and in His time. Until then Lord, I need Your wisdom for each situation and circumstance. Please tune my ear to your voice and help me to respond immediately to Your prompting.

Thanks for reading and praying for me/us. Let me know if you have anything I can be praying for you about.

Blessings!

9 months

As Laura said the other day, 'I've now had H as long as I was pregnant with her!' and it's so much fun! Here are some pictures I took of her on Sunday (her 9 month b-day) and a few from Saturday at the zoo with Barb and her boys!


Also, please pray for those affected by the 35W bridge collapse in Minneapolis today. It collapsed during rush hour into the Mississippi River this evening. Please keep praying that those that are alive would be rescued as quickly as possible. For more information check out WCCO.com

Thanks and blessings!

Picture Update

Here are the pictures I've been meaning to post for so long! Funny note: Haddie was happily playing with Christmas Bear and her Leap Frog toy so I thought to myself, "This would be a good time to update the blog", but as soon as she saw the computer she speed crawled her way over here and wouldn't let me rest until we took some pictures of her/us. So here those are:

Picture time is over and she's not happy!



Here are the wine glasses I painted for my sister for her 21st birthday:





Here's Haddie feeding herself for the first time! I gave her the bowl and a spoon then turned around to wash some dishes and when I looked at her next this is what I saw, I laughed for forever!


And here I am with Erin and Brevin Isaac, Bernt & Erin's beautiful baby boy!




Ok, I think that's all for now!

Doula or Mid-Wife?

I just had the 2nd most amazing experience of my life! The first, of course, would be giving birth to H and the 2nd one is being asked to help coach Erin through her labor as none of her family members could make it because Brevin decided to come 3 weeks early!

Anyway, I've always had a lot of interest in the whole pregnancy, labor and delivery of a baby and have thought many times about going to school to be a doula or mid-wife and now I am even more convinced. Granted it may not be for a while because I'll have to wait for the Lord to tell me if/when would be a good time to go but, I also want to wait until H isn't a baby.

So here's a short version of my side of the story: Erin was a rock-star and did such an incredible job especially since she was having a lot of back labor. She had to do some exersizes to get Brevin to turn in the right position to deliver-face down instead of face up. And turn he did! I don't want to tell too much of her story so I'll just say that it was surreal for all of us-I think! She (we) probably walked a few miles before the contractions got so bad that walking wasn't an option. She had a great sense of humor through it all-yep, even through transition. I remember the nurse asking them once who they think Brevin will look like and Erin said, "I don't know/care as long as he doesn't have Bernt's nose." We all laughed. And sometime in the middle of transition she said very calmly, quietly and matter-of-fact, "Ouch." And then I laughed, yep Erin it is ouch! :)

I know that they will be posting pictures on their blog very soon so if you want to see them just click on the link Bernt & Erin on the side of my page and you'll see their updates. Although it may be a little while cuz their internet doesn't work all the time at home.

So, that's all for now, at least until I talk to Jenny about what her school is like and whether or not I should be getting ready to move outta the country...

Crazy Days!

Ok, so I am so excited because my friend and co-worker Erin is in labor and about to have their much anticipated little boy-Brevin Isaac!!! She's been having a lot of back pain aka contractions over the last week and when she came in this morning I was pretty sure she was going to have him by this weekend. Her and her husband are both at the hospital now and we are all praying for an easy and quick delivery for her. For those of you who know her, she's teeny tiny in stature and Brevin really had no chance of staying in there much longer! :)

Also, my cousin Becca headed to Mexico this morning to live, she is going to teach dance with a non-profit Christian (I think) organization and I am so excited for her. I love living over-seas/in other countries and I hope that she enjoys herself and that the Lord works in and through her this year etc. It was strange because I've always been the one leaving for some far off country and now I have 3 cousins out of the US and loving it (well, at least I hope they are!)

Yesterday, H and I spent all day getting ready for a garage sale that 2 other families and I, are holding over the next three days. Wow, let me tell you I never knew it took so much effort to get ready for a sale but there's a ton of stuff and we hope it all goes.

Finally & 6.5 Months of Silence...

I am finally able to post again thanks to Dena's expertise! My blog had extra html codes and "unauthorized something or other.." Anyway, she fixed it and now I am able to write again which makes me very happy! Although I'm at work and can't post all the fun pictures I wanted to I'll do so later!

Anyway...after 6 1/2 months of silence guess who calls me in the middle of the night on July 4th, Independence Day...more than one meaning behind that for me!?!? You guessed it...my almost "ex"-husband. There I was sleeping peacefully after a busy couple days and 2 hours into my sweet dreams the phone rings and the person on the other line answers..."it's me, Ib.....".

Anyway, very long story short...he hasn't changed much except for the fact that over the last 6.5 months he's grown a conscience and realizes that he was a "crazy, insane, awful jerk of a husband" (that's a direct quote) and he wants to send us money and he wants his green card-go figure...so, we'll see what happens (especially since he hasn't called when I told him how much $$ he owes me for his green card). but, for now I've got a lot of support and a pretty level head about the whole thing.

Before this I'd been avoiding everyone I guess...I don't think was intentional but I think that it has to do with being kind of depressed...so, anyway...the phone call was a good wake up and I realized that I can't put myself in a corner cuz it's just not healthy. Even though putting myself out there is really hard to do still...I probably imagine it but, I feel like I'm pitied or judged all the time and it's a very uncomfortable feeling. Oh well, can't turtle myself away especially since I want to show H what it's like to be a healthy person no matter the circumstances.

Psalm 103

Bless the Lord o my soul, and all that is within me bless His holy name...He redeems my life from destruction. He pours out His lovingkindness and tender mercies upon me...(paraphrased by me)

Anyway, I read that last night and am encouraged and uplifted by my Maker. Even when I feel alone He said that He would never leave me nor forsake me. So, perhaps I'm in this desperate place to bring me to my knees before him...again.

Geez, you'd think a girl would learn. But thanks God for reminding me that pumpkins and field mice aren't always that bad and though I don't believe in fairy god-mothers I do believe in YOU. And YOU make ALL things GOOD.



Heck, sometimes we all need a healthy dose of squash and...well, I don't know what field mice are good for but that's not important!

My prayer today...

So I get these daily emails from Divorce Care that are very encouraging and oftentimes nail my emotions on the head. This happens on a pretty regular basis, I don't know how they do it when I don't call them and tell them how I'm feeling on a regular basis but, they get it right 9 out of 10 times!

Anyway, I'm feeling very vulnerable and emotional lately because of so many things, #1)being A-L-O-N-E. It's not a very fun place to be and I am still, and may forever be, trying to figure out where I fit now that my fairy tale turned out to just be a large pumpkin and some field mice...

Anyway, I opened my inbox today to find this as today's daily encouragement: "Rob began to question God at that point, asking, "Where is the love? My heart still feels empty inside." He realized that God wanted him to understand that he was trying to fill his heart with something that could not truly satisfy his needs. Rob [ARIKA] desired to be loved, accepted, and celebrated just the way [s]he was, imperfections and all. He realized that Jesus Christ is the only Person who could love him to that deep degree, the only One who could love him unconditionally. "Mortals make elaborate plans, but GOD has the last word. Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good; GOD probes for what is good. Put GOD in charge of your work, then what you've planned will take place" (Proverbs 16:1-3 Msg). Lord Jesus, You have loved me with an everlasting love. I give all my hopes and plans, faults and imperfections to You. Amen."

So, when I lost my life companion I was upset and then seemed to get over it but I find today that the emotions are just as raw as they were in December. Possibly rubbed raw by new problems and hurts but all the same they're still bleeding. I've found that now that I've lost someone that was supposed to stay forever it's hard to find where I belong again.

I don't belong here...

I got my first hug today since January and I literally fell to pieces. Yep, I'm just sad. So, here I am again God...please help me and take away this sadness...

Slacking!

Ok, I've totally been slacking lately in posting on my blog...sorry to those of you who check this at times. Anyway, I've been waiting and waiting to give my sister her birthday present that I made her so that I can post pictures of my creativity but she's been super duper busy so I haven't seen her in over a week! Oh well. It was her 21st birthday, one that she's been looking forward to for quite a while! Anyway, as soon as I see her to give her her gift I'll post pictures.

Not too much else going on...keeping busy with my little girl who climbs on, into and over everything these days. She'll be 8 months on Friday, hard to believe but yes it's true and she just gets cuter and cuter every day. I painted her toenails the other day too! Quite a feat I might add, I dare any of you to get your baby to hold still long enough to paint them and dry them before it smears everywhere. But, we managed and her little toes are soooooo stinkin' cute!

I'm also looking for some really good books to read. Anyone have any suggestions? Maybe I'll start a "post-office library", if any of you have read a really good book and want to give me any recommendations that would be great! I like just about any genre.

Ok, well I gotta go, my little girlie is upset! I'll post again soon.

The rest of my life...!??!*$%&^!(#)^E#%!?= Confused and is not to be confused with a swear word

Wow, well I don't know what it is lately but I've been asked 'what I'm going to do with the rest of my life' almost as much as I was when I graduated from high school and college!!!! NOT that it's a bad question it's just so...loaded/heavy?!?...not really sure of the right word to use, only that it's a pretty big question for me right now. And I'm not sure what it is about me that people keep asking...is it the fact that I'll soon be divorced after a few short months of a really rocky marriage; is it that I'm a mommy; is it the season; is it just me...do I look lost/unsure/unstable?

Don't get me wrong I'm not at all offended by the question but I'm really just not sure why I'm getting asked. Not only that...I'd love to have an answer. See, there are a million things I would love to do but just don't know where to start and there's the simple fact that I have a wonderful, beautiful, very engaging 7.5 month old daughter to take care of and can't just run off to grad school or another country on a whim. Not to mention that if I did my mom, sister and dad would all want to kill me because they'd never see H...

So, I've already been wrestling with the question anyway...maybe it's written on my forehead...because I don't necessarily want to work in advertising all my life. I do know that, for now, this is where the Lord has placed me and I am most happy to be here and serve Him where I am. But there's a part of me that's longing to be something so much more than I am right now...does this make sense? I feel like there's so much more of me to give and that I'm a bit stifled by my surroundings. I also believe that there's a whole part of me that wants to fly but is just a little scared to run and step off the edge of the precipice to see if my wings really work. I'm also afraid of failure, what if I'm not good enough, what if ____ doesn't work out, what if someone else's ___ is/looks better than mine...so, there you go. This is part of the reason why I am standing at the end of who I am and the beginning of who I want to/can be.

That about sums it up for you...the rest of my life. Perhaps someday soon I'll just take that leap of faith and hopefully by then my wings will be ready for me to soar. So Lord, here I am again...please help me cuz I can't do it on my own. Maybe You can even push me but, if You do push me please help me to take care of H too. Thanks God. Amen.

Cuteness

Here are some cute pictures that I just got from Pammy!!
Smiles!!!

Grandma Honey and H

Playing instead of sleeping...

Pamelina and me

Good morning babies!

Baby Update

Please continue to lift up Ryan and Brianna during this very difficult time in their lives. This is an excerpt from WCCO's website on the Morrison sextuplets. For up to date information you can check out WCCO's website: http://wcco.com/morrisons

"Second Sextuplet Baby Dies
(WCCO) Another son of the Minnesota couple that became parents to sextuplets has died.

A statement from Children's Hospital in Minneapolis said Tryg Brenton, died Thursday night.

The four other newborns of Ryan and Brianna Morrison of St. Louis Park remain in critical condition in the neonatal intensive care unit at Children's. The children were all born last Sunday.

As released Thursday by Children’s, Tryg’s brother Bennet died Wednesday.

The hospital said no further information is being released, as the parents both mourn their loss and continue to focus on their other children."

As a new-er parent I can't imagine the joy and pain they are feeling right now. My heart just aches for their loss but also rejoices in the gifts they've been given. I know that the Lord has a purpose and a plan for each of these little lives and I pray that His will would be accomplished and that He would be glorified in the Morrison family's lives. I can't think or even write about them without falling apart and am speechless at times not knowing what to pray but, God hears and understands those prayers that only seem like pain in our hearts.

Lord, I lift up Ryan, Brianna, Lucia Rae, Lincoln Sean, Sylas Christopher and Cadence Alana and pray that Your purpose and plan be accomplished in their lives. I pray that they would live and not die and declare the word of the Lord. I pray that their lives would be a testimony to Your goodness and grace and Your everlasting, all-consuming LOVE. Lord, I have never known suffering like this so I don't know exactly what to pray but, I do pray that Ryan and Brianna would grab on to You with everything in them because You are the only One who can get them through what seems to me the most difficult thing a person could ever be faced with. Lord, I pray for another miracle. Amen.

Bring your child to work day?

I'm playing "bring your baby to work day" today! And now that H is up and about and into EVERYTHING it's proving to be an interesting day....I'm hoping that my sitter will answer her phone soon! Good thing H likes paper and magazines and all cuz I didn't bring any toys with me either, knowing that there are plenty of toys at the sitter's house.

Anyway, we had an awesome time yesterday with my friend Barb and her two little boys. We went to the pool and splashed around and just had a good time together. Other than that, nothing new! I'll post pictures again soon.

Please Pray

This is an urgent call to prayer for some of my college-mates:



Dear Prayer Team, we have an emergency on our hands....

Brianna had her sextuplets last night. Please pray for the life of the
babies to be miraculously preserved and that the Lord would be sovereign,
guiding Ryan, Brianna, doctors, and nurses in every decision and action.
(The full email from Ryan's mom is below.)

Jer 1:5 "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I
set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations."

Lord God, Creator, Sustainer - hold these precious lives in Your hands.
Protect them, preserve them, give us faith, and help our unbelief. Give the
Morrisons and the medical staff the wisdom. Unleash Your miraculous power
and faith even on and through each one who handles these babies. You are
the hands that carry us. Amen.

*********************

Hello Everyone:
Well, the big day for the babies has come at 22 weeks 6 days. Brianna's
circlauge (sp) slipped and she dialated to 7cm very quickly. The drs. said
the time has come, we have to take the babies. They had the whole team , 20
to be exact, of drs. at the hsopital within about an hour.
The prognosis was very alarming, the dr's. thought that 1 or maybe 2
babies would survive the birth due to the underdevelopment of these precious
little ones. He stated that in most cases with high order multiples that
mom is in ICU for at least 1 day, and in many cases 2. So we prayed and
turned all this over to the Lord. Ryan and Brianna were obviously
overwhelmed with all that was happening but they held on to their faith and
trust in the Lord.
We asked God to let the babies survive, to carry Brianna safely through
as the dr. had discussed the MANY complications that can happen to mom, and
that God would decide the outcome for these babies clearly so that Ryan and
Brianna would not have to make life and death choices regarding their little
ones as the dr. said they needed to decide if they wanted to revive the
babies if there were complications.
The frist baby was born at 11:23pm and the sixth was born at 11:25 pm.
Yes, all 6 were pulled with 2 minutes! God has miraclously intervened. All
six of the babies are alive. They weigh between 10 ounces to 1.2 pounds.
The dr. said that Cadance Alana, the 10 ounce baby girl was the smallest
baby he has delivered that has survived. They are very tiny, a little
bigger than an average adult hand, but seem to be fighters. Brianna did NOT
need to be placed in ICU and was able to be wheeled to Children's in order
to see the babies.
The babies are not out of the woods by any means but God has shown His
power and His presence. Everything we cried out to the Lord for was
answered. We continue to pray for the lives of these babies and Brianna's
recovery. The needs for prayer right now are:
1. Brianna to continue to recover quickly
2. Several of the babies fingers and toes are blue due to oxygen issues.
They may need to have them removed at some point.
3. There are SO MANY medical issues these babies are dealing with and it
will only be by miracle if they thrive and survive.
4. The dr. said there is an 80% chance for handicap with these babies.
Possibilities include: deafness, blindness, autism, along with many of
issues.
Please continue to lift them up. God has been so present through all the
pregnancy, and the birth last night. We NEED each one of you to pray and to
pass on this prayer request to others .
The babies names are:
baby girl- Lucia Rae (Rae after Brianna's mom's middle name) 11 ounces
baby boy- Bennet Ryan (after dad! Ryan)1.2 pound
baby boy- Tryg Brenton (Brenton after Brianna's dad's first name) 1.2 pound
baby boy- Lincoln Sean (Sean after Ryan's dad's first name) 1.2 pound
baby boy- Sylas Christopher (Christopher after Ryan's brother's first name)
1.2 pound
baby girl- Cadence Alana (Alana after Ryan's mom's middle name) 10 ounces
Thank you all for your love and prayers!

If you want to read more about the Morrisons and their journey please check out their website, there's a link under my friends column called Morrison6. If the Lord leads you, you can help them out in many different ways listed on their site.

Moose

I was so excited to see so much wildlife while in Homer. Pammy is always telling me about all the animals she's seen but I didn't realize that they're a pretty common sight in town. I saw 5 or 6 moose, 2 of which were babies. Unfortunately we didn't get any pictures of them ourselves because by the time one of us was outside with their camera they'd moved on. The closest I got was 10 feet away while driving on West Hill with Pamelina!

So, I brought back some moose-meat that is, from Alaska and Amelia and I had moose steak the other night and let me tell you...that's some GOOD MEAT! It was tender and juicy with little to no fat-I was surprised because I expected it to have a game-y taste. Anyway, if you ever get the chance you should try it!

Reading

So, I've been reading some books lately because well, they were recommended to me in Divorce Care class. The one I'm reading now is called Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible: A Fresh Look at What Scripture Teaches by Jay E Adams

It's pretty good but makes me think a lot too. I just read about how God created marriage for companionship and that's what makes me sad...I don't have that intimate companionship and I'm a little afraid that I'll want to find it in H but I know that's not healthy. See, I didn't have it even when my 'wusband' was around, it turns out that his intentions in marrying me weren't for love and companionship but rather a visa and green card or something?!?! I want that sort of companionship but I also realize that that may not be what the Lord wants for me so...I have to give it up on a daily basis. So, if you think of me please pray for me in this area.

I'm also reading another book (With or Without You: A Spiritual Journey Through Love and Divorce by Cameron Conant) about someone else who went through a divorce recently, someone in my generation, and that's been really good for me too. In fact, it's a book that IF, and that's a big if, the Lord does bring someone into my life I would like him to read this too because I've experienced so many of the emotions and situations that this guy has written about that I think it would help whoever understand what I've gone through.

Anyway, that's where I'm at today. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers.

Favorites

Ok, I'm going to post a few (ok, a lot) of my favorites!
Driving out on the Spit


One side of the boardwalk

Going across the bay for dinner

H and I on the Spit

H crawling!!!

H and Charlotte in the car on the way to Soldotna

Mocha and monkeys-you can't go wrong!

Pammy and H

My packing tape wrapped boarding pass to fly from Kenai to Anchorage!


So, there you go, those are just a few of the pics taken throughout the week. Once Jill and Pammy send me more I'll post those too.

xoxo

Home Sweet Home

So, as nice as it is to be home again it's bittersweet. I love being with my best friends, the ones you don't have to explain things to cuz they just understand. I once read/heard a quote that explains it all, I think it goes like this, "Home isn't a place it's a person [or persons in my case]". My heart is at home when I'm with my closest friends. Not that I don't have friends here in MN it's just...different. I've moved so much in my life that I've never "grown up" with my best friends from elementary or high school, it's so weird for me to hear people say that! But my best friends and I have history and even though we're thousands of miles apart it hasn't changed anything in our hearts.

Anyway, I'm back at work and back to normal life-whatever that means! :) Clothes are washed and we, H and I, are almost readjusted from the time difference! I'll be posting pictures in the next day or two so check back if you're interested.

Homer is so beautiful, it's the best of everything-ocean and mountains and lots of wildlife. I saw at least 5 moose that were within a couple yards of me and one that was maybe 10 feet away, they're so cute and awkward looking especially when they're babies! H and Charlotte got along really well, Charlotte had some lessons in sharing that were funny to watch...she's gonna be a big sister in a couple weeks! Charlotte likes to trade with you if you have something she wants and she loves to give kissies! I didn't get any the first two days I was there but after that I got lots of Charlotte's love and kissies!!! She's so much fun and stinkin' smart. AND H got her second tooth the day after we got there and on Sunday she just busted out crawling!!! One moment she was sitting nicely beside me, the next she's halfway across the room playing with magazines with Charlotte! Crazy cool!

K, love and kissies! lol :-D

VACATION!!!!

I don't think I could possibly be more excited!!! I get to go on a real vacation...to Homer, Alaska...to visit one of my bestest girlfriends (and her family) ever! And I'm sitting here, at work...trying to work...it's not working too well though. So I'll post some pictures of them and of Alaska instead!











I'll be sure to take lots of pictures while I'm there and post them if I can. I'm video taping it too because it's H's first vacation also and I don't know when we'll be going up there again. So I'm taping it so she can 'remember'.

Anyway, I'm praying that she travels well because it's a long journey there and back. I'm also praying for patience for me if she doesn't do well, that I would know how to help her have a better time.

A moment to brag

I must say that I honestly believe I have the cutest little girl in the whole world! I know that you may think I am biased but really take a look and then tell me I'm wrong!



She's doing so many new things, it's as though she's trying to conquer the world in the month of May. She's been sitting by herself since she was 5 months; she's about to crawl-the coordination thing has taken a while; she's sitting herself up from laying down/crawling!!!; she got her first tooth on Sunday; she's pulling herself up all by herself now; making attempts at walking; in a big girl car seat although still rear-facing; and she even helps me clip coupons for shopping!!!



I love her soooooo much and so I couldn't help but brag on her for a moment. However, all the credit goes to God cuz He made her just the way she is! I know He's proud of her too!!

PS31

I'm obviously not talking about the newest version of Play Station but rather the Proverbs 31 woman.

10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Does anyone else feel like they take two steps forward and one step backwards? I wish that transformation had taken place the moment I gave my life to Christ but [sigh], it did not and so just like everyone else I must go through the journey.

I do hope that someday I will be a woman of noble character, clothed with strength and dignity, speaking with wisdom and faithful instruction. I do know that it's not by my own strength but by the Lord's and that all of the following comes through/by fear of the Lord.

I don't like how my flesh/the old me rises up in some circumstances and reacts. It's ugly and unbecoming and unlovely. Lord, please change me and make me into the woman you want me to be. I want to live my life for You and I also want H to see You in me and want to be just like that. I want her to, one day, rise up and call me blessed not for my own glory but Yours Lord.

Legacy

I am so moved by music as I'm sure most everyone else in the world is, at times it can bring me to tears. So yesterday I was driving home and listening to the country station, don't knock it unless you've tried it, and an artist was singing a song about his wife! I loved it and it made me want to live my life so that someone will write a song about me. I know, kind of self-centered huh?! But deep down, I do want someone to write a song about me, I think that's so romantic. Hearing how you're appreciated and cherished for even the littlest things is so sweet. Maybe I'm a sentimental goof but oh well!

I want to live my life to impact others for the kingdom of Christ. I want to leave a legacy, just like that song says (see below). I want the Lord to use me in ways that will bless others starting with my little family first. And I think I've discovered that I'm a lot more of a romantic than I thought I was. So, in saying all that...even if no one here on Earth ever writes a song about me I was remembering in the Bible where it says that the Lord sings over me.

He, God, Almighty, King of Kings and Lord of Lords sings over me. And maybe, just maybe, He's singing about how much He loves the littlest things about me...just like He does for you too!

Nichole Nordeman \ Legacy

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love? Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

Cub foods parking lot

So, last night H and I were on our way home from Cub foods and by "on our way" I mean safely buckled up and slowly backing out of our parking spot, slowly as in 0 mph, when SLAM!!!! You got it, somehow I'd backed up into a car heading up the aisle. I say somehow because, I was very carefully backing out because of all the kids in the parking lot at that time. I'd just looked over my right shoulder and turned to look over my left shoulder and in an instant there she was!

I, personally, think she was racing down the aisle and not paying attention because later when I asked her why she didn't honk she replied, "I didn't see you". Which is not possible because I was slowly backing out and was two feet beyond the cars on either side of me. She just plain wasn't paying attention. And then she decided to be a jerk about it even after I'd given her ALL my info minus SS# and birthday AND started the filing of my claim on the after hours service. AND H had started crying by now and she still didn't want me to leave. Her car has two little dents in the passenger side doors, it's not like I'd totaled it!!!

Anyway, I finally told her I was leaving, she has all my info and if she needs anything else she can call my insurance company. To which she replied, "Well, I want them to know that you backed out into me". And I said, "Well, I think that's pretty obvious, it couldn't have happened any other way" (meaning someone picking up the rear end of the car and smashing it into a 'T' formation with my tail end.) Yep, that only happens in cartoons my friends!

Anyway, I left and went home after 20 minutes of being harassed and that is how my pretty good day turned poopy for a while...cuz then my mom came over and it was great from there.

"Hi, I'm a...shhh don't tell...PC"

My computer is poopy! My PC at home is at least so that is why I'm pining away for a Mac. We use them at work and I love them, not only that but I use it so often then I'm forgetting how to use my PC which is ok because it needs to go to the doctor soon anyway. It's kind of like the computer cart PC on the commercials, to see what I'm talking about go to: http://www.apple.com/getamac/ads/

Computer cart explains my PC, poor thing...

When the timing's right I'll be putting my PC 'to sleep' and taking things to a whole new level! But that time is not now and so alas, I wait till the day that I can use my computer without issues.

Aside from that, all is well...

William Congreve

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned / Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned." ~William Congreve

So I've been thinking about this quote for a little while and oh it's so true. However, I've been doing a lot better with the whole anger issue until...this morning...on a whim...I decided to....

do a people search and whaddya know...2 contacts showed up, one in NY and the other in GA...so now here's my dilemna, do I try to contact them? I don't want to be the one to call cuz I don't want to talk to him, in case it is him. I doubt that it is him because the name is pretty common and the locations are pretty full of Senegalese Wolof peoples.

Anyway, I am no longer full of rage nor am I furious with him. What he's done is done and it is what it is. I know ultimately what I am going to do and have prayed about it and have peace about it too. I am no longer going to live my life in fear and worry about all the 'what ifs'.

So, I was reminded of this quote because I'm such a girl...obviously but, I mean it in another sense too. I am so curious and want answers and do so many things to get answers. Sometimes I need to just leave well enough alone.

Once again my prayer for today is that I would leave things in the Lord's hands and let Him do what needs to be done and lead me in His footsteps...and that I would follow instead of trying to see what's out there on those other pathways...a.k.a. my imagination etc.

That's all folks!

SUMMER!!!!

I LOVE SUMMER!!!! The word alone brings so many pleasant thoughts to mind...sun, warm, swimming, beaches, long long days, vacations, sprinklers, bar-b-ques, parks, sleeping in (well, if you're on summer break), water parks, VACATIONS, camping, fishing, hiking, flowers, picnics, the Farmer's Market, and did I mention my favorite...vacations!?!

I am sitting at work looking at my calendar and feeling a bit overwhelmed because I have something(s) extra going on every day up to the day I leave on my vacation...aaaagggghhhhh.

Ok, I can handle this, I just need to make it to May 25th and then I can relax for a while.

Even though I'm crazy busy I'm so excited about this summer. H finally gets to experience what it's like being warm without wearing 5 layers of clothes, ok slight exaggeration...when it was really cold out she'd wear about 4 layers. We're going to have so much fun together and that's what I'm most excited about for this summer. All her firsts. I hope she likes the pool.

Anyway, it should be good times..."sunny day sweaping the clouds away, I'm on my way to...."

A tribute to women and mothers!

Someone sent this 'story' to me recently and it made me smile so I decided to post it especially since Mother's Day is coming up!

To my girlfriends, sista-friends and all the women I treasure in my life...this is for you!

One Flaw In Women

By the time the Lord made woman,
He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said, "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"
And the Lord answered, "Have you seen my spec sheet on her?"

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and able to run on diet coke and leftovers, have a lap that can hold four children at one time, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart-and she will do everything with only two hands."

The angel was astounded at the requirements.
"Only two hands!? No way! And that's just on the standard model? That's too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I won't," the Lord protested. "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can work 18 hour days."

The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
"But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?" asked the angel.

The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason and negotiate."

The angel then noticed something, and reaching out, touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak," the Lord corrected, "that's a tear!"

"What's the tear for?" the angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride."

The angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything! Woman is truly amazing."

And she is!

Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Remember that your worth is in the Lord and what He has done for you, not in what others say or think about you. You are loved with an everlasting love!